Goats and waggling fingers
by chocolet
Summary: "We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this." - Captain Jack Sparrow (considered crackfic)


**Disclaimer: The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise belongs to Disney.**

 **AN: This would be my first fanfic in the POTC fandom, a random one-shot based on the** _ **On Stranger Tides**_ **ending where Captain Jack comes up a (strange) way of releasing the** _ **Pearl**_ **. I love the part where Gibbs just go with his strange plan and even suggested of knowing someone who has a goat.**

 **Anyway, it's a stupid and funny idea, still I don't think it falls under the Parody genre since I didn't destroy/edited/added-characters-from-another-fandom or anything from the main story.**

' _thoughts'_

 _emphasize_

"dialogue"

The sun's setting, perfect for the ceremony. As soon as the last remaining rays died out and came the flash of green on the horizon, one pirate lord and captain is powdered with eyes painted over his entire face.

His cannibals marched back after finalizing their art on their Pelegosto god.

He raised a hand and one monkey and one parrot carrying sticks on them drew a perfect double circle in the sandy beach they were in.

Of course it wasn't perfect, _they were animals_. And so he threw a stick he stole from a nearby cannibal and pass it on to his dear mutinous enemy and rival, _Hector Barbossa_.

Barbossa, confused, asked him. "And what ye want me to do with this!?"

"Draw a circle Hector, can't have the _Pearl_ wait in agony in that bottle any longer."

The pirate lord of the Caspian Sea rolled his eyes for actually attending at this ceremony, heck- for following what Jack said.

After he drew a perfect double circle, the _Flying Dutchman_ appeared and sent a longboat near the shallows, _Bootstrap_ and _Will Turner_ inside it.

Will pulled out a crossbow and his father set the arrows on flame. The Master of the sea shot the center of the circle and set the dried leaves, courtesy of one _Cutler Becket_ and one _Blackbeard_ in the background for picking and piling them leaves, ablaze and litting up the ceremonial grounds.

Next was one _Davy Jones_ for bringing up an hourglass, and yes he was walking on _land_ , threw the object at the center of the burning leaves and magically put out the fire by an unknown force.

Jack eyed how the scene unfolds in front of him. Trying to put the pieces together and troubled to figure out why said pieces don't fit each other. _'Definitely not good. Cannibals, Scraggly beard, the whelp- oh wait William's okay, but Jones, Beckett and Blackbeard? When did they got out of the locker?'_

Then out of nowhere, from behind him, one _James Norrington_ , one _Sao Feng_ and one _Angelica Teach_ carried a goat each and started to dance around the damped fire. Then Bootstrap who started playing the trumpet, Davy Jones, Blackbeard, Beckett, and Barbossa jumped in and danced around the circle like some hungry cannibals showing their gratitude to their god whilst waggling their fingers (for Davy Jones, only using one arm).

Jack blinked twice to clear his vision, was he seeing right, was he drunk _'No, never been that drunk'_ was he hallucinating!? Again!?

It was real, convinced to be real now that the bottled _Black Pearl_ appeared on his hands. Everyone stopped dancing and made way for Jack towards the center of the circle.

"What are you waiting for Jack? Walk across the circle then pass the bottle to me so I can place it back to the water." Will instructed as soon as he rowed the longboat straight across the circle.

Jack slowly walked, carefully and on alert as he pass by his murderous, mutinous, merciless enemies excluding Angelica who he believes could never downright kill him.

"Oi, what's the catch whelp?" He stopped before crossing above the damped fire.

"Catch? Well you get your pearl back in the water, you get to sail again... That is if you can get to your ship alive before _they_ get to you." Will stretched his hands towards Jack and urged him to pass the bottle.

"M-mister Gibbs!" Jack squeaked, trying to find his voice from being too quiet with their present situation.

Gibbs shushed Jack back, gesturing his hands in the dark night. "Ya got me worried there cap'tn" he whispered worriedly "As soon as we snuck in the farm you suddenly went quiet, blank, staring out of nowhere."

Jack blinked twice, adjusting his vision with the dark surrounding. Now getting a clear yet shadowy view, he saw Gibbs pulling three gagged goat out of its cage.

Now he remembered, he and Gibbs were up and _stealing goats_ in the neighborhood. But what of that confusing and terrifying vision he just saw. Surely it had some meaning to it. And seeing all who he have encountered on what he saw, it was definitely a very bad warning.

"Uh. Mister Gibbs, change of plans. Belay the ritual, let's find another way of releasing the pearl"

Gibbs stopped and stared at his captain's indecisiveness. "Why? After I successfully gagged all the goats here so they won't wake the whole city."

"Uh, let's just say Calypso gave me a warning."

Gibbs just nodded and cradled a goat.

"You can drop the goat."

"Capt'n I believe we have goat for breakfast."

"Ooh, I like that." Jack immediately rushed behind Gibbs and carried two more goats. " _Breakfast_ -" he looked at the goat Gibbs had. "Meet _tomorrow's dish_ and _the day after that._ " he joyfully introduced his goats.

And the two quietly escaped the farm, disappearing into the dark night.

 **Thank you for reading.**


End file.
